I Resign From My Job To Pursuing My Dream

Hello everyone 😀,

Wow, it's been long time since last time I post an article in this blog. Yeah, it's last year the last time I post an article here. I'm sorry, I'm focusing on my another blog and Youtube channel. Everything about Indonesia culture and its uniqueness, you can find on my another blog and Youtube channel.

Hey, are you going to promote your project in the first paragraph?

Hahahaha why not? After all, people usually read first paragraph. Yes yes, I know first paragraph should describe what topic that this article going to discuss. Hahahaha I know I'm just amateur blogger.

Anyway, for those who follow my blog (do I have followers? I guest no huhuhu) you might ever read my article about "I quit job hunting for follow my passion". This article have similar title like that but the difference is this one isn't about job hunting but it's real job.

Since then, I often facing this conversation:

"Hey Audi, how's your work?"

"Ummm, I already resigned from my job"

"What? Resign? How come? Why"

"Because I wanna start my Youtube and Blogger project"

"Really? How do you make money from that?"

"Well..........."

My face when I asked that kind of question

It's kinda tired to explain because people keep asking me about that. Okay, I'll try to explain everything as simple as I can. Hopefully, I can write shortly because usually when I start to talk about this, it will be long.

So, in "I Quit My Job To Follow My Passion and Dream" article, I share about my passion which is performing on the stage. I also mentioned about my dream and what makes me have that dream. Let me tell you once again:

My dream is to performing Indonesia culture to around the world and bring Indonesia culture to the top of the world

I want to perform like this again for promoting Indonesia culture to around the world

 In that article, I said that my inspiration behind my dream is Indonesian Week event in my previous university Ritsumeikan APU. I performed as dancer, percussion player, actor-percussion, and martial arts player-actor in grand show event. I also perform in daily event such as parade and night event. Surprisingly, International students, Japanese students, and Beppu-Oita citizens love Indonesia culture so much. They always enjoy when Indonesian week held every year. The appreciation and reception is absolutely wonderful. That makes me think "if I can do in small world like APU, then I can do it as well in the real world". That's why I have dream like this.

Why Youtube and Blogger? Because these two is the biggest media platform for sharing our passion. On Youtube, people around the world can access and watch video freely. Same as Blogger, people around the world can read and access freely. So I think if I share about Indonesia culture and its uniqueness on Youtube and Blogger, people around the world can see and feel Indonesia.

Actually, I wanted to start Youtube in 2015, in my last semester in APU. However, I ended up looking for a job in Tokyo and living in Kyoto for 3 months for getting job. The result? I failed to get a job in Japan and I went back to Indonesia because my visa had expired.

In Jakarta, I got a job just three days. That's so fast compare when I did job hunting in Japan. However, I resigned after 6 months working and I got another job but I resigned after three months.

Why? Why I didn't start Youtube in 2015? Why I keep looking for a job although my passion is performing on the stage and I have dream for Indonesia culture? Why I didn't start pursuing my dream? Only one word to answer:

SCARE

Yes, I was so scared for many things:

I was scared if I don't get income and asking money from my parents

I was scared if I failed

I was scared if I become unemployment

I was scared if I disappoint my parents

I was scared if people around me leave me because I have unrealistic dream

I was scared if people judge me that I failed as a child

I was scared if my dream is just bullshit

I was scared if I'm not good enough to be Youtuber

and so many scare

I'm scared and doubt myself

My fear is the main reason why I doubt myself. Why companies in Japan won't hire me because they feel my doubt. I resigned from my job because I doubt if that job is suit with my goal and can help me to achieve my dream. I couldn't perform well in my second job because I doubt myself if this was right or not for me.

When I resigned from my first job, actually I was thinking to start Youtube. However, I scared if I don't get any income and I'm not good enough to be Youtuber. That's why I accept job offer for my second job. But in the end, I just runaway from what my heart said. I doubt myself that's why it's hard for me to have motivation and passion in my second job. It's hard for me to perform well because I doubt myself and I feel this one isn't right for me, but I neglect it because I was scared if I didn't have money.

Too many doubt and scared in myself. There's time when I'm tired to runaway. Finally, on November 2016, I started Youtube and Blogger with name "Audi26tv". Actually, I won't use my name for that channel but I had no idea which good name for my channel.

I'm trying many things for building my channel. I went to North Sumatra to explore and make vlog, I cooperated with my senior to make Indonesia culture night for diplomat, I performed Indonesia dance in volunteer activity under bridge, I attended to many networking events to share my idea, looking for right partners, and get inspiration. 

The result is still far from my expectation:

Subscribers just 38

Viewers are few

Instagram followers less than 200

I keep trying and doing. I tried to make interesting videos but it's not good enough to attract viewers. My motivation keep getting down every time I saw number of viewers and video analytics. 

I do everything alone. Yes, alone like nobody help me:

Videographer

Photographer

Blogger

Social Media Promotions

Video editing

Translator

Content creator

Script writer

Technical staff (lighting, positioning)

Researcher

Performer

Dancer

I do it by myself. I'm struggling and desperate to get right partner and collaboration. That's why I attend to networking events.

The situation getting more complicated. Actually, I still have contract with my last office to be Japanese interpreter and Indonesian teacher for Japanese expatriate. But it didn't go well although I reached deal with my clients, but they changed their mind and won't use me for their interpreter. It happens for three times. Before resigned, I count how much income that I could get from being freelance interpreter. The rate is around IDR 500,000 - IDR 2,000,000 / day, that's why I was dare to resigned. But it didn't work. That's why I'm looking for a job again but it must be the one who can help achieve my dream.

It's difficult right now. To be honest, I'm struggling right now. My motivation is up and down. I often getting down but I keep do what I have to do and keep smiling to everyone. I desperate to get support (like collaboration, share my blog and video, help me to make video). I want to fight for it but the only one who can bring me up is only myself so I won't rely on anyone else.

Is it wrong? Not rely to anyone else? I don't know

You might think being Youtuber is easy and just wasting time. Talking in front of camera and upload on Youtube is easy things. NO! You're wrong! Yes, being Youtuber isn't difficult but it's not easy as well. Especially, if my content isn't really popular (there's no Youtuber who share about Indonesia culture and its uniqueness). You might often read success story and how they struggling. But it's rare to read when someone in the process to achieving his dream and struggling. That's me.

I won't give up for this. I believe I can be successful someday but to be successful, there's so many challenge and hurdle that I must face. Honestly, I won't be alone but in the beginning I start alone. I don't know whether you can understand my feeling or not but this is what I feel. I want to keep fighting, keep doing this, and keep trying to be great Youtuber. 

I do this not only for myself. I do this for Indonesia, I want to make Indonesia better country in the future, I want to develop Indonesia through art and culture performance, I want to do something for this country. I want to help my family in Medan, North Sumatra, I want to make Indonesia become better home for my children someday. Although, Indonesia society is tough but I love my country. I born here, I raised here, and I want to die here.

I know there's no easy dream to achieve. I know it takes time and long process. I know I must be patient. I know it and I keep believe it. But I'm human, sometimes I can be down sometimes I can be up. But I keep fighting even though I'm really stress, I keep continue. I won't stop and being weak person. I want to be stronger.

That's all from me. I want to end this article before getting so long. Hopefully, you can get lesson from my story and keep fighting for your dream. 

Every human deserve to have dream. And every human deserve to be success. That's what I believe.

I won't give up and keep believe my dream

And the most important thing, keep enjoy our life. Happy-sad is part of life. Just enjoy every single moment in our life

Gua Resign Dari Kerja Buat Raih Mimpi Gua

Ini foto random banget milihnya buat jadi headline. Gpp lah, ini salah satu selfie terbaik gua *aazzeeeekkk

Hai Semuanya,

Duh, ini blog sudah gua telantarkan selama setahun, gak update sama sekali. Hahaha 😁 maap yak, gua lagi fokus sama blog gua yang satunya lagi dan Youtube. Blog gua yang satunya lagi bisa kalian liat disini. Semua hal tentang keunikan Indonesia ada disana semua. Dibaca dan di share ya.

Woi, paragraf pertama udah promosi aja! 

Hahahaha birainlah, kan biasanya paragraf pertama paling pertama di baca orang. Tapi mestinya paragraf pertama itu ngawalin topik dari sebuah artikel. Duh, gimana sih, blogger gadungan emang gua hahahaha.

Anyway, buat kalian yang ngikutin blog gua (cieee elah kayak punya banyak followers aja😎), judul diatas itu pernah gak sih kalian liat di blog ini? Pernah dong, tapi pake bahasa Inggris dan itu artikel waktu 2015, tepatnya waktu gua baru-baru nemu passion gua apa dan masih jadi anak APU. Nih dah artikelnya buat yang belom baca "I Quit Job Hunting To Follow My Passion and Achieve My Dream".

Kalo di bahasa Indonesiain mirip ya? "Gua berhenti Job Hunting Buat Kejar Passion dan Mimpi Gua". Dan sekali lagi gua menuliskan judul seperti itu tapi bedanya bukan "Job Hunting" tapi "Resign". 

"Resign maksudnya?" 

"Ya resign dari kantor" 

"Hah, apa sih gak ngerti?"

"itu loh, berhenti dari kerja"

"Oh gitu. Lah kenapa? Kan gaji lu lumayan gede disana? Pemasukan lu darimana dong?"

"Well........"

Kurang lebih beginilah muka gua yang bingung kalo di ajakin ngomong kayak gitu. Bingung gimana nyeritaiinya

Yah seperti itulah situasi yang selalu gua hadapi. Oke, gua ceritain dengan SPJ (Singkat, Padat, Jelas). Semoga aja beneran SPJ, biasanya kalo udah cerita suka kepanjangan hehehehe 😊.

Jadi, di artikel "I Quit Job Hunting To Follow My Passion and Achieve My Dream", gua bilang kan ya, passion gua adalah manggung. Gua mau jadi "Stage Performers" dan ngebuka channel Youtube buat support passion gua itu.

"Stage Performers" untuk apa? 

"Untuk nampilin seni budaya Indonesia ke berbagai belahan dunia, memajukan Indonesia dari seni budaya, dan membawa seni budaya Indonesia menuju puncak dunia. Itulah mimpi gua"

Gua kepengen banget manggung lagi kayak begini dan keliling dunia buat nampilin seni budaya Indonesia

Di artikel itu gua udah jelasin, gua cinta Indonesia semenjak kuliah di Jepang, di rumah kedua gua yaitu Ritsumeikan APU. Disitu gua tampilin seni budaya Indonesia terutama di acara Indonesian week sebagai penari, pemain perkusi, dan pencak silat. Apresiasi dan respon masyarakat Internasional di APU, warga Beppu-Oita luar biasa, mereka semua suka sama seni budaya Indonesia. Dari situlah, gua berpikir "Kalo gua bisa melakukan ini di dunia kecil bernama APU, kalo gitu bisa dong gua lakuin ke dunia sebenernya". Dan itulah yang mengawali mimpi gua. Di Indonesian week itu pula lah gua menemukan passion gua.

Kenapa pilih Youtuber dan Blogger? Karena kedua media inilah yang bisa gua maksimalin buat berkomunikasi sama orang-orang di seluruh dunia. Dengan video Youtube, orang-orang dari negara manapun bisa nonton seni budaya Indonesia. Dan dengan Blogger, semua orang dari seluruh dunia bisa baca dengan catatan gua nulis pake bahasa Inggris.

Waktu 2015 gua nulis artikel itu, gua sebenernya udah bertekad untuk memulai. Tapi ada satu kata yang selalu menghantui gua dan membuat gua ragu terhadap diri gua:

TAKUT

Ya, gua takut! 

Takut gak punya pemasukan

Takut jadi pengangguran

Takut kecewain orang tua

Takut menyia-nyiakan pendidikan yang udah gua tempuh di Jepang

Takut di kucilkan sama orang-orang sekitar gua

Takut dicap gak kerja sama semua orang

Takut dibilang sok asik, sok eksis, sok ngartis karena Youtube

Takut apakah mimpi gua ini cuma mimpi doang atau bener2 impian

Dan takut-takut lainnya..........

Ketakutan itu membuat gua ragu. Dan gua akhirnya nyari kerja lagi di Tokyo. Ceritanya ada di artikel ini "How Two Weeks Journey In Tokyo Gives Me The Best Lesson In My Life".

Gagal dapet kerja di Tokyo, gua coba peruntungan di Kansai, tepatnya di Kyoto-Osaka. Selama 3 bulan gua nyari kerja lagi disana, tapi berakhir dengan hampa alias gak dapet apa-apa. Gua di hantui rasa kesepian karena gak punya temen dan rasa keraguan yang besar. 

Sebenernya di Kyoto itulah gua mulai Youtube, tapi laptopnya rusak dan hard disk gua corrupt. Jadi video yang udah gua edit ilang semua.

Karena izin tinggal di Jepang habis, jadi gua terpaksa pulang ke Indonesia. Di Jakarta, gua cuma 3 hari langsung dapet kerja. Tapi itu cuma bertahan 6 bulan karena kerjaanya gak sesuai sama kompentensi dan minat gua. Ceritanya bisa kalian baca disini "FIRST JOB: SELAMAT DATANG DI ‘DUNIA GILA’ AUDI".

Setelah gua resign dari kantor pertama, gua sebenernya udah beli laptop baru biar bisa edit-edit video. Konsep pun udah gua pikirin dan tinggal beli kamera dan mulai. Tapi, lagi-lagi keraguan dan ketakutan menghantui gua. Sama, takutnya ama yang sebelumnya. 

Galau berhari-hari akhirnya gua dapet kerja di kantor kedua dan gua terima. Kerjaan gua gak jauh-jauh amat dari kerjaan pertama, yaitu ngurus dokumen izin kerja dan tinggal TKA (Tenaga Kerja Asing) dan dokumen perizinan pendirian perusahaan. Bedanya, kalo kantor pertama gua lebih fokus di lapangan, di kantor kedua gua lebih banyak duduk di kantor, balas email, meeting sama klien, dll.

Tapi ternyata, gua nerima tawaran itu setengah hati. 3 bulan probation gua jalanin, gua bener-bener ngerasa hampa dan gak ada semangat sama sekali. Gua berusaha kerja semaksimal mungkin, nikmatin kerjaanya sebisa mungkin, dan cari cara untuk nemuin value dari kerjaan ini. Tapi, pada akhirnya gua gak bener-bener termotivasi. 

Dalam hati gua, suara untuk berkarya di Youtube-Blogger dan semangat buat ngejar mimpi gua udah keras banget. Waktu itu, gua udah punya kamera baru setelah kamera gua hilang di Lombok. Gua udah ada kamera, laptop, monopod, terus apalagi yang gua tunggu? 

Sebenernya gua jalanin Youtube sambil ngantor. Abis ngantor gua langsung shooting Youtube dan coba ngedit. Tapi, sama sekali gak maksimal. Dari Thamrin, Jakarta - Jatibening, Bekasi Barat itu macetnya gak karuan. Gua selalu balik jam setengah 9 malem dan gua udah ngantuk + capek. Gak ada mood buat ngapa-ngapain. Weekend? Ada aja acaranya. Bantuin ortu lah, meeting organisasi lah, pokoknya gak bisa gua kerjain Youtube-Blogger kalo kayak gini.

Akhirnya setelah galau berhari-hari, gua beranikan diri buat resign dan mulai jadi Youtuber-Blogger. Gua resign bukan tanpa pegangan. Gua sebenernya tanda tangan kontrak sama kantor kedua gua buat jadi Japanese Interpreter (Penerjemah Bahasa Jepang lisan) dan guru Bahasa Indonesia dengan rating Rp 500.000 - Rp 2.000.000,- tergantung projectnya kayak apa. Setelah gua hitung-hitung, gua rasa jumlah segitu cukup buat ngehidupin gua. Makanya gua berani resign.

Dari November 2016 sekarang udah Juli 2017. Berbagai macam usaha udah gua lakukan. Gua ke Medan bulan di akhir Desember 2016, gua ke berbagai macam acara seni budaya, bahkan buat acara seni budaya untuk diplomat, research soal Youtube dan seni budaya, gua ikut banyak acara networking dengan pelaku startup dan generasi millenials yang punya mimpi kayak gua, gua coba bikin video se-menarik mungkin. Tapi, subscriber dan viewers gua tetep aja sedikit dan ini belom menghasilkan apa-apa.

Gua ke nelusurin Sumatra Utara buat bikin vlog dan kenalin keunikan Sumatra Utara
https://youtu.be/XcuSXVmQbEM

Barengan kakak kelas gua dan sanggar tempat gua belajar nari, gua cetusin event ini untuk ngenalin seni budaya Indonesia ke para diplomat luar negri
https://youtu.be/iKPAN3K-KPE

Gua dan dua temen gua nari tarian tradisional Indonesia di kolong Jembatan Tiga, Pluit, Jakarta. Disitu gua juga bikin vlognya
https://youtu.be/v1YM8DnMZJA

Gua dateng ke acara "Djakarta Punya Tari" sendiri buat ngambil video tarian-tarian Betawi dan bikin reaction videonya
https://youtu.be/P0gMgoOHfzE

Ikut acara meet up bareng host Kick Andy & Big Circle, Andy F. Noya

Ikut acara meet up bareng Writer dan Co-Writer buku Generasi Langgas, Dilla Amran (kiri) & Yoris Sebastian (Kanan)

Belajar public speaking sama public figure dan host TV, Hilbram Dunar (paling kiri), Bayu Oktara (jas abu-abu), dan Uli Hermansyah (jas biru paling kanan). Gua bahkan berani tampil sebagai Youtuber di depan mereka dan mereka langsung kasih banyak masukan ke gua

Dateng ke acara Gebyar Wisata Budaya  Nusantara (GBWN) dan ngobrol-ngobrol sama berbagai perwakilan masing-masing daerah soal melestarikan seni budaya Indonesia

Dateng ke seminar entrepreneurship di Lotte Mart Avenue, di acara Gfest

Sharing soal passion dan mimpi bareng sama Abie Abdilah (cowo sebelah kiri), seorang pengusaha rotan yang udah ngebawa produk-produk rotan asli Indonesia sampai ke pameran di Eropa dan mba Khairiyah Sari (cewe sebelah kanan) founder lanangindonesia.com yang punya koneksi dengan Bekraf 

Kerjaan freelance gimana? Gua udah interview 3-4 kali, 3 diantaranya udah deal sebenernya tinggal kerja eh di PHP-in terus, kliennya berubah pikiran dan gak jadi pake gua. Gua gak tahu alesan pasti si klien-klien itu kenapa. Perkiraan gaji gua yang semula sekitaran Rp 10 juta keatas pun sirna. Gua jadi bokek maksimal, dan udah berkali-kali minjem sama bokap. It really Sucks man!

Jujur aja, gua ngerjain Youtube, Blogger, Instagram semuanya gua sendiri yang jalanin.

Videografer gua

Fotografer gua

Video Editor gua

Translator gua

Social Media Marketing gua

Penulis artikel di blog gua

Content creator gua

Script writer gua

Research sana-sini gua

Blog web maintain gua

Hampir semuanya gua yang ngerjain. Bisa gak? Ya bisa sebenernya meskipun gak bisa dibilang jago apalagi ahli tapi gua ngerti semuanya. Cuma, jelas aja itu berat banget di jalanin sendiri. Makanya, gua ikut banyak acara networking terutama dari kalangan startup dan komunitas generasi millenials, supaya dapet partner, pencerahan, dan solusi dari masalah gua ini.

Dan akhirnya, karena kerjaan freelance gua gak sesuai rencana, gua nyari-nyari kerja lagi. So far, gua dapet kerjaan jadi admin akun twitter dari sodara gua dan bantu bisnis kakak gua di Jepang dengan ngebuat modul kelas bahasa Indonesia untuk orang Jepang. Ya bayarannya emang gak banyak, tapi at least gua ada pemasukan.

Mungkin gua emang lagi mandek karirnya. Situasi gua ini, jauh dari kata indah dan bagus.

Gua gak punya duit.....

Gua gak punya partner.....

Subscriber dan viewers gua sedikit......

Followers di Blogger 0.......

Motivasi jatoh......

Gua gak di dukung sama orang-orang sekitar gua.......

Gua di rendahkan dan di remehkan.......

Ya semua itu adalah resiko yang harus gua terima dari keputusan gua resign dari kantor. Emang, mimpi itu gak ada yang mudah dicapai. Impian kita itu pasti banyak yang mencaci maki, merendahkan, dan bahkan kita dikucilkan karena impian yang kita punya. Kita bahkan bisa di usir oleh orang tua kita karena kita telah di cap sebagai anak gagal. Hanya karena...........kita punya impian.

Terlebih lagi di Indonesia, dimana masyarakatnya sibuk sama urusan hidup orang lain alias kepo. Anggota keluarga besar dan temen-temen gak sedikit yang merendahkan kita yang sedang merintis mimpi dan mengejar passion.

Emang gak gampang untuk menghadapi segini banyak tantangan. Tapi, gua percaya, yang gua lakukan ini adalah hal yang positif. Gua lakukan ini karena gua cinta sama Indonesia, gua mau Indonesia jadi negara yang lebih baik, gua mau dunia melihat Indonesia itu unik dan indah dari sisi seni budaya + pariwisata, gua mau orang Indonesia kembali tumbuh rasa cinta tanah air. 

Gua berusaha untuk terus mengevaluasi diri, apakah gua udah melakukan yang terbaik sampai hari ini?

Gua sedih ngeliat banyak orang-orang asing dateng ke Indonesia cuma buat ngambilin sumber daya alam Indonesia. Yang lebih sedih lagi, orang-orang Indonesia itu sendiri mau aja di budakin sama para negara-negara asing terutama negara maju di dunia buat ngerusak alam Indonesia. Yang paling bikin gua sedih adalah ketika ngeliat generasi muda Indonesia mendewakan budaya negara lain, sebut saja budaya barat, Korea, dan Jepang tapi have no idea about Indonesia culture. Mereka menganggap budaya Indonesia itu kuno, ketinggalan jaman, dan gak kekinian. Sakit hati gua ngeliatnya. Padahal, masyarakat dunia itu sangat menghargai seni budaya Indonesia. 

Makanya, gua mikir, apa yang bisa gua kasih buat negara ini. Gua punya passion jadi stage performance dan gua suka banget nari tarian tradisional Indonesia. Gua bisa nampilin ini di social media dan jadi viral. Makanya, gua jadi Youtuber-Blogger. Gua lakuin ini buat Indonesia lebih baik, buat sejahterain keluarga besar gua terutama keluarga besar di Medan, dan untuk jadiin Indonesia rumah yang indah buat anak-anak gua nanti.

Gak gampang, gua tahu kok. Tapi emang semua butuh proses. Butuh perjuangan. Kalo kalian lebih banyak denger kisah sukses orang yang udah sukses di karirnya dan cuma denger cerita dia giman jatohnya dia dulu, sekarang kalian membaca orang yang sedang mengalami kesulitan dalam karirnya. Gua percaya gua bisa sukses dalam karir gua. Tapi, inilah yang harus gua hadapin. Gua gak mau mundur, gua gak mau nyerah, gua mau perjuangin terus impian gua ini. Gua gak mau jadi pecundang yang pada akhirnya cuma ikut apa kata kebanyakan orang jadi orang biasa aja. Perjuangan gua belom selesai dan gak akan pernah selesai sampe gua mati.

Sekian, karena udah kelewatan panjang hahahahahaha. Semoga cerita ini bisa jadi pelajaran buat yang ngebacanya terlebih lagi buat yang lagi berusaha meraih mimpinya.

Yang penting percayalah sama diri kita, mimpi kita, dan passion kita. InsyAllah, semua jerih payah, keringat, air mata akan terbayar semua kelak

Dan pastinya tetep nikmatin hidup kita. Susah-senang itu bagian dari hidup. Gak usah di bawa stress apalagi ampe depresi. Nikmatin aja segala prosesnya

Also read:

I Quit Job Hunting To Follow My Passion and Achieve My Dream

The Most Important Lesson That I Learn From My College Life

FIRST JOB: SELAMAT DATANG DI ‘DUNIA GILA’ AUDI