ALONE DOESN’T MEAN LONELY

When I was living in Japan, I often spending my time in City Park, beach, and chairs in sport ground to have quality time for myself. Then, when I accidentally met my friends, they asked me “what are you doing here?” and I just told them “ow, I’m reading a book” or “nothing, just want to be there”. Their reaction is just what I expected. They react like this “hah? Why you are here alone?” or “Oh okay”. Then, one day I asked to my friends “would you like to go to shopping mall alone?” or “why don’t you go self-trip like to Kyoto or Tokyo?” Most of them answer like this “no way I go to shopping mall alone. It’s quite lonely” or “I can’t go without someone else”.

Most of people are quite afraid to go somewhere just oneself. There’s perception that if you spend your time in shopping mall or park alone it looks like you are unsocial, lonely, or you are in single status. People usually go somewhere and spend their time with loved one, friends, and family. However, some people, like me, often spend my time in park, beach, and shopping mall to enjoy me time. But that doesn’t mean that people like me are unsocial or lonely.

We often spending our time with people around us but we forget to value me-time for ourselves. It’s good you have quality time with people around you, you share many moments with them, but don’t you feel tired interacting with people? Sometimes, we want to do this or that just alone but we afraid that people around us judge us that we’re lonely or quite sad or feel bad to be “alone”. Actually, there are many things that you can learn when you spend me-time. You will realize something that the “real you” and it can help you to explore your truth potential.

Here’s 5 things that you will learn when you value me time:

1.   You know how to love yourself

When you enjoy your me-time, you just do whatever you like that makes you happy. You can buy anything for yourself without waiting for someone else, you can feel calm when you breathe fresh air in the morning in your house’s balcony, you can explore one place freely because nobody stops you. You know what makes you happy and it can help you to love yourself. Before you love someone else, you should know how to love yourself.

2.    You explore the “real you”

I found Nagoya Castle by just reading paper map without asking. I realize I have good navigation skill

God gives us potential to makes us useful to others and reach high achievement in our life. However, many of us don’t know our potential and confuse how to find it. Then, have me-time like self-trip or doing housework is one of the best solution. When you have self-trip, you will learn how to find the way to reach your destination by yourself. When I did self-trip in Nagoya, I read paper map that I took in Nagoya station. I did my best to understand the map, train line, and ask anybody to make sure that I am in the right way. The result is awesome, I didn’t lose and I reached all my destination. I realized that I have good navigation skill and remain calm when I go to the wrong way.

3.    Suddenly, you forget that you are in trouble

Job hunting problem, no more money, and less friends didn't stop me to hiking in Atagoyama, Kyoto (2015)

Sometimes life is sucks. Everything goes wrong and you are in deep stress because problems never stop coming towards you. However, when you spend your me-time, suddenly you forget your problem. You just focus on what makes you happy and ignore all of the stuffs that relates to your study, work, and your life problems. For example, you are stress with your work, then go to shopping mall to do your hobby which is shopping. Do you have time to think about your problem? I don’t think so. Even you don’t have money, but when you are in stress and just look around new clothes or electronic staffs in shopping mall, you’ll happy because you do what makes you happy. If you buy something but don’t have enough money, well, consider it!

4.    You realize that you are the happiest human

If you see famous artist or successful businessman, or couple who looks so sweet, and you feel jealous, well, think about it once again! Because you only see outside appearance but you don’t know their inside. Those people are dedicated their time for someone else. The artist, they keep working for satisfy their fans and entertainment companies. The businessman, they give their time for company profit. The couple who looks so sweet, they dedicate their time to their loved one. But, can they dedicate their time for themselves? I don’t think so. You are the lucky one because you have time for yourself which means you have time to know about yourself and explore your truth potential. Don’t be sad if you are single, because those who’re in relationship doesn’t mean happier than you. Don’t worry if you’re not famous artist or success businessman, because your time will come soon once you know the real you.

5.    You come back with fresh mind and solution

After come back from self-trip or shopping in shopping mall, your mind back to fresh again. Before you go, you’re so stress with your problems and can’t think calmly to find solution. Now, after spend your me-time, you can find right solution for your problems. Actually, you realize that solution when you spent me-time, then you come back with fresh mind and excitement because you know what to do.

So, are you still afraid to enjoy yourself with me-time? If you feel you have close friends and family, don’t think that you’re lonely when you go somewhere without them. It’s your time, your life, don’t let others influence your happiness, happiness is yours. Enjoy yourself alone doesn’t mean you’re lonely, it means you are happy and enjoy your life.