Love or Lust?

Have you ever feel love to someone or an activity, then you hate them so much now? Have you ever feel your couple or your job is something that you really like even so many problems come but you are happy to fight for them? Do you ever hear about love and lust? Love and Lust are part of our heart which created by God. Love and Lust are competing each other to dominating our heart. They are abstract - we can't see it but we can feel it. Sometimes we don't know what we do is based on love or lust. Then, we should know what is true love and what is lust. We can't control our heart to choose love instead of lust. Our heart is unstable, but we can arrange our heart, especially when we realize what we do is based on lust. We should be careful with lust because lust can kill our happiness.  

I was reading a book called "Heart Communication" by Indonesian author, his name is Apinol Amril or in his book he use his childhood name Nyonyorino. Short explanation about Nyonyorino, he is one of the greatest young public speaking, trainer, and motivator for self-development in Indonesia. His book "Heart Communication" is describe how important communication with arrange our heart. In his book, he also explain about the difference about Love and Lust. In this opportunity, I would like to share what I learn from "Heart Communication" book and what I think about Love and Lust.

Nyonyorino (2014) define the difference between Love and Lust. I am sorry if the English is so bad because I tried my best to translate from Indonesian language to English. I hope you can understand my English:

LOVE	LUST
No requirement	Have requirement
Often using words “Even if”	Often using “If” or “but”
Dominated by “Conscience”	Dominated by “Ego”
Unlimited	Limited
Accepting each other	Expecting perfection
Receive something more than we expected	Receive something based on desire
Full of sincerity	Full of Struggling
Happy first then success	Success first then happy
When success, calm and humble	When success, proud and excited
Give our best	Be the best

(Nyonyorino, 2014)

Again, I would like to apologize if my English is so bad because I just translated from Indonesian to English. From the table above, we can see how different Love and Lust. The second point is that when we love someone or an activity, we feel that we need each other or we like this activity. So, Even if there's huge problem come, we will keep strong to face it and solve it with understanding each other and accepting each other. Like our parents, when we're child, even if we often do something bad or we made problems, our parents still love us and forgive us, and let the problems go. So when we love someone, whether it's siblings, best friends, or couple, we accepting each other even if they have bad points which often disturb us. The 8th point, in love we happy first then we can achieve a success, while in lust we success first then we feel happy. This is an unique point. In love, be happy is top priority. If we are happy, then success will come as long as we can be patient and keep happy even so many problems come to us. In lust, the most important thing is we must achieve a success then we can get our happiness. It means that, we allow any way to achieve success, including bad way like cheating, corruption, and stealing. 

In my young age now, 21, many people struggling with couple problem. I couldn't ignore this fact since i also experiencing couple problem in the past. For boy, girl is so emotional, and for girl, boy is not emotional enough. It's a basic problem among couple. Now, I would like to ask you, Are you love him/her with true love or it just lust? Can you guys accepting each other and let small problem go and keep going? Do you expect your boyfriend/girlfriend to be someone like what you want? Answer it in your own heart and define it's love or lust. Because relationship based on lust will just give us pain and if we continue to keep this relationship, it just give us more pain and the worst possibility is, we will hate each other. So, for single man and woman, if you like someone, you should know first, it's based on love or lust. If you want to see a good example about true love, see your parents, because they can live together for many years and born a child like us and rise us. 

Well, in this young age, we should be careful with love and lust, because lust can destroy our future, but love will bring us a true happiness and bright future. I hope you can have wonderful life and relationship with full of love.

Cheers

Reference:

Nyonyorino. (2014). Heart Communication. Jakarta: Elex Media Komputindo